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024: Aloha

Maximilian Rivera September 6, 2016
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by Max Rivera | @MaxRiveraFilm

Premise: After a life changing injury, a celebrated military contractor returns to the site of his greatest career triumphs and reconnects with his now married ex, while unexpectedly falling for the quirky and dedicated Air Force watch-dog assigned to him.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 19%

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Take Bradley Cooper, pair him with Emma Stone in a romantic comedy directed by Cameron Crowe, and what do you have? Complete garbage, if you ask us.

This week, we are reviewing Aloha (2015), rated 19% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Also starring Rachel McAdams, Danny McBride, Bill Murray, and John Krasinski, Aloha is the story of a military contractor who returns to the career triumphs of his past, leading him to face relationships he left behind, and new ones blossoming in their stead. 

Basically, this film could have been a hit, but shoddy writing and poor execution make it the worst movie we’ve watched in weeks. Not to mention, Aloha faced a large backlash over whitewashing and racial insensitivity. 

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There are a bunch of could-be compelling stories locked in the mire that is Aloha. With physically and mentally injured veterans, multi-ethnic backgrounds, questions of parentage, and Bill Murray, you should be able to cobble together a film with some form of entertainment.

But Aloha’s biggest sin is that it is a boring, do-nothing film. The plot doesn’t go far enough with the characters, the story is unnecessary, and some of the performances serve nobody (Alec Baldwin, what’s going on?). 

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There were a few moments of romantic comedy bliss between Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone, but even that was half-assed. The characters literally begin with no conflict to drive them apart, and by the time there is conflict between them, it’s resolved within a scene. Also, it’s complete bullshit. 

We expect more from Cameron Crowe and this cast. And I don’t think we’re wrong for that. 

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If you can pull together any saving graces it’s that the film has good music. There are cool glimpses at Hawaiian culture in an angle we’ve hardly seen in mainstream pop culture, but instead of embracing this and focusing on a Hawaiian story, the island just works as backdrop. This film could be set in Alaska and have the same basic premise, barely changing anything.

Hey, Let’s cast Jennifer Lawrence as the quarter-Inuit girl, maybe!

As always, you can reach us by email at TheCriticalBreakdownPodcast@Gmail.com. Let us know if you love Aloha, we can hug it out. As always, leave us a review or rating on iTunes or any podcasting service you use!

Max is a marketing copywriter by day, filmmaker and screenwriter by night. He resides in Charlotte, NC, and loves his dogs, watching movies, building LEGO sets, and eating food. Lots of food.You can find Max at his personal website and twitter.

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